In Loving memory...Aunt Agnes

      She was the person I had always known about. Her mother and my grandad were brother and sister. My Dad always talked about my Aunt Agnes, her brother my Uncle Walter and their mother my Great Aunt Ginny that went to live in America. She grew up with my Dad in England they were more like brother and sister than cousins.

     After her mother Aunt Ginny died the families in England and the USA lost contact with each other, it was my Grandmother and Aunt Ginny that were the ones that wrote to each other, I believe I still have one of the letters somewhere.

     Back in 1978 or 1979 I wrote to Aunt Agnes' last known address but the letter was returned. So I next wrote to the local newspaper office in the last known town that Aunt Agnes lived in, Mishawaka Indiana. I also sent photos of Aunt Agnes' children, the newspaper ran a story and the next thing I knew I received a letter from Aunt Agnes. I do still have those newspaper articles. Aunt Agnes and I wrote to each other for a year or so then I asked her how she felt about me visiting her. In 1980 I made my first visit to meet Aunt Agnes and her family. In 1981 she and her husband Bill made a trip to England for a reunion with the family she had left behind.

     In 1982 I made my second trip to visit Aunt Agnes and her family. It was on this trip that I mentioned that I would like to give living in the USA a try, right away Aunt Agnes and Bill told me I could live with them if that's what I decided to do. On this trip I also met Aunt Agnes' nephew Joe Cabanaw. I went back to England after my visit and tried to decide what to do, Joe and I wrote to each other and I made the decision to give life in America a try. I gave notice at my job and I gave my engagement ring back to the guy that gave it to me. Nine weeks after I arrived back in England I left again to go live in the USA.

     She opened up her home to me, she taught me about life in the USA, she treated me like one of her daughters. I was married from her home and she gave us our wedding reception. When we came to live in Minnesota she was the one we always stayed with on our visits back to Indiana.

     Yesterday...Friday 18th February we lost our dear Aunt Agnes...we have lots of wonderful memories to help us through this sad time...I am very privileged to have known this wonderful woman...

In Loving Memory......

    .........continued.....Ten years ago today I was in the middle of raising two sons, 12 and 16 years old, everything was going well. A few days earlier my Dad had been diagnosed with angina, he had an appointment set up with a heart specialist for the following week..just after midnight of the morning of 12th February 2001 my Mom called us panicking, my Dad was having chest pains and she could not get him to swallow his medication, Joe immediately got up, got dressed and headed down to my Mom and Dad's house which was just minutes away. I stayed home, the boys were sleeping. By the time Joe got to Mom's house she was on the phone to the emergency services.

     The next I heard Joe was calling me from the emergency room of the local hospital. Joe told me it did not look good. About a hour later Joe called me again to say my Dad was gone...it was 2am...8am in England. I needed to call my sister in England, it was the second hardest thing I had to do that day. I got hold of her husband, my sister had not got home from work she works over nights..I broke the bad news.

                                   Joe brought my Mom home to our house

     The hardest thing I had to do this day was to tell my sons that Grandpa died. Adam was the first one up to get ready to go to High School...I managed to tell him about Grandpa. But when Aaron got up to get ready for Middle School I fell apart, I couldn't do it again, I couldn't tell another child his Grandpa had died, Joe took over and told Aaron about Grandpa.

     My life changed that day ten years ago. I often wonder why the doctor did not send my Dad to the specialist right away, would my Dad still be with us..but I also believe we are here for a planned length of time and it was my Dads time to go.

     My Mom's life changed even more that day..she and my Dad were married almost 50 years and she lost her life partner.

                                                              Treasure your family.

Tuesday 8th February..mindworks..

     My mind will not be still..I just finished reading Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah. It is a book about family and relationships within the family. There is a quote in the book that will not leave my mind..'It is never too late to change the direction of your future' I just don't know what direction I want my future to go.


      I am coming up to a ten year anniversary of a life changing event and I am having a hard time with it. I am doing a lot of thinking about life and death and the direction of peoples lives..I know I am rambling on a little..but I did warn you that my mind will not be still......to be continued...